I love painting, I do. I think I've made that apparent in most—if not all—of my prior posts. Although I haven't been trained professionally as a painter (even though I studied art), it's something I've always done to calm my nerves and makes me happy—even to keep me occupied and "out of trouble." It's just what I've always done. I think I take after my mother in that regard, because she did the same thing.
After many years of painting bright colors on many canvases, I've come to the realization that painting has helped me through my bipolar disorder on many levels, not just as an artist, but for a therapeutic point of view as well—even if I wasn't made aware of it at the time. However, it's something I have always enjoyed and realize that many painting instructors teach their students to mix their colors and never paint straight ouf of the tube. For me, I'm the opposite. I prefer to paint with acrylic when most instructors teach their students to use oils instead.
Any way you look at it, it's still a personal preference.
I do know that as a fine artist, we will all eventually use what works for us the most. It allows us to inhabit our own methods and excel as artists. At this point after many years, I don't care what the art community thinks about my paintings, and I don't care if they're being critiqued to the point of negativity and displeasure, I enjoy painting and I take pleasure from it.
As a graphic designer, we are taught to design for our clients, not the designer. That rule of thumb has always been tough for me, but I've come to learn after many years of working as a graphic designer that it's how we have to work in order to make a living.
We are there to make the client happy.
It can be very frustrating because as professionals, we know that many times the design we choose instead of the client, are always better. But that's not always the case. The client sees and desires what they want, regardless of our professional opinion. I've just learned to not take it personally, because ultimately it's not a reflection of who I am, but of the client during that point in time.
Isn't that what they're paying us for?
When I'm painting, I can take comfort that I'm doing it for me and for myself only. Nobody else. I've never put my paintings up for sale and I don't intend to. Over the years, I've been lucky enough to have painted many commissions of pets, couples, children, etc. but I've never really sold my paintings that are hanging on my walls.
These were painted for me.
I truly believe that these individual paintings mean something special to me and they have a purpose in my home. I don't think I could ever say goodbye. They're important to me and I've grown to accept them as part of my 'family,' part of my decor.
But as my heart grows for each painting I create, I know that deep in my heart I do it for enjoyment and a release. A release of everything I've endured this past year and what I will move to this coming year.
Maybe one of these days I'll actually sell one of my paintings, but in the meantime, I'll just enjoy them as they continue to hang on my own four walls.
Bipolar Gal on Twitter
Showing posts with label color. Show all posts
Showing posts with label color. Show all posts
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Eternal Sunshine of the Vintage Display
I love color, I do. If you saw my loft, you would know that I love color.
I've never been one to decorate my home with the usual taupe and beige that seem to be the norm in most homes. Oh no, I have to have colorful surroundings. It'll make me happy, you see.
Hmm maybe not always.
I'm mature enough to know that a colorful home will not solve all problems—especially those suffering from bipolar disorder. But it feels and looks good, nevertheless. You can tell, the minute you walk into my home that an artist lives here.
That pleases me.
I typically don't watch the quintessential home decorating shows all over the networks these days, or anything close. I just like to come up with my own ideas—with the occasional inspirations wherever I go. I'm always looking around and observing for a "lightbulb" effect. However, I was watching a show and absolutely loved it! The decorators/artists/designers (whose vocation was more along the lines of professional flippers), were a married couple who were like me—they loved mixing vintage elements with new. I loved it. OMG where did they come from?
New York City of course.
They demonstrated a modern taste—such as myself—with a lot of bright colors. They weren't afraid to go beyond the usual common boundaries.
I was addicted, so I continued to watch every episode with anticipation. Heck, I even downloaded the series from iTunes so I can watch over and over. It was invigorating and more than inspiring.
Many ideas were presented as an eclectic juxtaposition of vintage essentials displayed throughout their clients' homes. I loved it. Unfortunately, they have the advantage of living in New York City where there is a plethora of vintage/pre-owned shops. I didn't have that luxury here where I live.
Regardless, I'll make due. I've always loved and taken advantage of eBay and it's right there at your fingertips.
With empty vases and chachkes cluttering up my coffee table, I knew I had to make a change. Something more simple; maybe even adding more color. But what?
Once again taking advantage of the convenience of eBay, I scrolled page after page looking for ideas for the perfect find. Perusing Craigslist didn't seem like an appropriate option, so I continued to search for the perfect bargain. Or even idea. Regardless, I still tried Craigslist just in case. You never know.
I have been on the hunt for an old vintage pinball machine for months now—don't ask me where I'd put it however—and know that clearly eBay wouldn't be a practical option. I even found the perfect set of old gym lockers on Craigslist for a small space that was being misused in the foyer of our front door—for a mere $60.
Even though I still had no idea what I wanted to fill those empty vases with, I figured I'd come up with an idea eventually. An epiphany. Because that's just how I roll.
One day it literally came to me, and I realized it'd be the perfect solution. Nobody would have these items displayed in their homes. Only on their pool tables for practical use—playing pool.
I knew coming up with the idea of displaying old vintage billiard balls mixed with new ones would be a perfect solution, albeit an odd one. But I could always appreciate its colorful and retro-style and loved how the color bordering each ball's circumference added life, which is what gave them a unique perspective.
Let the hunt begin.
For me, using something as simple as old styled mixed with new styled billiard balls was an inexpensive infusion and I knew it would be something I could afford and proudly display without "breaking the bank."
At first my husband thought I was weird, but I didn't care. As with everything in our home, he eventually comes around and loves how I've decorated our loft and proudly displayed my art.
I didn't want to stop there, I wanted to continue to add more "life" to my loft.
As I was attempting to work on my Lego art project—from my prior post, Blocked?....No Pun Intended—looking at the tub of colorful legos inspired me even more. Too bad it wasn't for that particular project, however, but the colors and different sizes always made me want to do something else; maybe something extraordinary outside of my 'blocked' Lego art project.
Buying an old bowl for $1.99 and filling it with Legos was also an unconventional inspiration, but a colorful one, nonetheless.
Even something as simple as an old unused gumball machine which I purchased on eBay for $20, even adding the candy gave it a colorful eclectic—and delicious—alternative.
My gaming headset has always been quite bothersome on my desk, so finding something as simple as a styrofoam head bust was an even better solution. For only $10, I took it home and spray painted it yellow and gave it more life than the sold as-is white styrofoam. I received an unexpected veneer as a result of the spray paint mixed with the styrofoam. Overall, it looked really cool.
I like to frequently shop the local vintage stores, Goodwill, pawn shops, our local Eco-Thrift store and the like for old, pre-owned items. It's like the saying, "one man's junk is another man's treasure." I have always found this to be true. I've always been an advocate of reusing items not just to "save the earth" but just as a way of expressing a form of unrivaled taste and individuality. This way, you're not seeing the same thing in everybody's home, or their clothing (i.e. Gap, Old Navy, Pottery Barn, etc.).
It's also why I love old estate jewelry. There's a history there, and although I may not know it, I can appreciate that there was a story regardless. Something about its untold diary gives an impression of excitement and wonderment as we try to imagine what that story is/was, maybe it was out of sadness or grief, or even desperation for money—God knows we've been there a number of times. Either way, it's a story I can create in my head; something that gives me inner peace.
Finding exceptional one-of-a-kind objects is something I've always treasured and enjoyed. Even altering its appearance with something as simple as spray paint can give it exclusivity.
These are one of the many things that have always helped me through my disease, bipolar disorder. I realize it can't cure it, but at least try and keep my mind occupied from my racing thoughts or decrease them a great deal. That is something I am satisfied with—even if it's only temporary at that time.
Bipolar Gal on Twitter
I've never been one to decorate my home with the usual taupe and beige that seem to be the norm in most homes. Oh no, I have to have colorful surroundings. It'll make me happy, you see.
Hmm maybe not always.
I'm mature enough to know that a colorful home will not solve all problems—especially those suffering from bipolar disorder. But it feels and looks good, nevertheless. You can tell, the minute you walk into my home that an artist lives here.
That pleases me.
I typically don't watch the quintessential home decorating shows all over the networks these days, or anything close. I just like to come up with my own ideas—with the occasional inspirations wherever I go. I'm always looking around and observing for a "lightbulb" effect. However, I was watching a show and absolutely loved it! The decorators/artists/designers (whose vocation was more along the lines of professional flippers), were a married couple who were like me—they loved mixing vintage elements with new. I loved it. OMG where did they come from?
New York City of course.
They demonstrated a modern taste—such as myself—with a lot of bright colors. They weren't afraid to go beyond the usual common boundaries.
I was addicted, so I continued to watch every episode with anticipation. Heck, I even downloaded the series from iTunes so I can watch over and over. It was invigorating and more than inspiring.
Many ideas were presented as an eclectic juxtaposition of vintage essentials displayed throughout their clients' homes. I loved it. Unfortunately, they have the advantage of living in New York City where there is a plethora of vintage/pre-owned shops. I didn't have that luxury here where I live.
Regardless, I'll make due. I've always loved and taken advantage of eBay and it's right there at your fingertips.
With empty vases and chachkes cluttering up my coffee table, I knew I had to make a change. Something more simple; maybe even adding more color. But what?
Once again taking advantage of the convenience of eBay, I scrolled page after page looking for ideas for the perfect find. Perusing Craigslist didn't seem like an appropriate option, so I continued to search for the perfect bargain. Or even idea. Regardless, I still tried Craigslist just in case. You never know.
I have been on the hunt for an old vintage pinball machine for months now—don't ask me where I'd put it however—and know that clearly eBay wouldn't be a practical option. I even found the perfect set of old gym lockers on Craigslist for a small space that was being misused in the foyer of our front door—for a mere $60.
Even though I still had no idea what I wanted to fill those empty vases with, I figured I'd come up with an idea eventually. An epiphany. Because that's just how I roll.
One day it literally came to me, and I realized it'd be the perfect solution. Nobody would have these items displayed in their homes. Only on their pool tables for practical use—playing pool.
A view from the side showcasing how the pool balls & bowl
of legos look underneath my coffee table
Closeup view of the bowl of legos & vase of pool balls
View from above as you can see the large bowl filled
with vintage & new pool balls
I knew coming up with the idea of displaying old vintage billiard balls mixed with new ones would be a perfect solution, albeit an odd one. But I could always appreciate its colorful and retro-style and loved how the color bordering each ball's circumference added life, which is what gave them a unique perspective.
Let the hunt begin.
For me, using something as simple as old styled mixed with new styled billiard balls was an inexpensive infusion and I knew it would be something I could afford and proudly display without "breaking the bank."
At first my husband thought I was weird, but I didn't care. As with everything in our home, he eventually comes around and loves how I've decorated our loft and proudly displayed my art.
I didn't want to stop there, I wanted to continue to add more "life" to my loft.
As I was attempting to work on my Lego art project—from my prior post, Blocked?....No Pun Intended—looking at the tub of colorful legos inspired me even more. Too bad it wasn't for that particular project, however, but the colors and different sizes always made me want to do something else; maybe something extraordinary outside of my 'blocked' Lego art project.
Buying an old bowl for $1.99 and filling it with Legos was also an unconventional inspiration, but a colorful one, nonetheless.
Even something as simple as an old unused gumball machine which I purchased on eBay for $20, even adding the candy gave it a colorful eclectic—and delicious—alternative.
Sometimes I'll add peanut or plain M&M's for even
more bright colors—and when we're bored of chewing gum
My gaming headset has always been quite bothersome on my desk, so finding something as simple as a styrofoam head bust was an even better solution. For only $10, I took it home and spray painted it yellow and gave it more life than the sold as-is white styrofoam. I received an unexpected veneer as a result of the spray paint mixed with the styrofoam. Overall, it looked really cool.
I needed somewhere to display my gaming headset & saw
this styrofoam head & thought it was the perfect solution!
I like to frequently shop the local vintage stores, Goodwill, pawn shops, our local Eco-Thrift store and the like for old, pre-owned items. It's like the saying, "one man's junk is another man's treasure." I have always found this to be true. I've always been an advocate of reusing items not just to "save the earth" but just as a way of expressing a form of unrivaled taste and individuality. This way, you're not seeing the same thing in everybody's home, or their clothing (i.e. Gap, Old Navy, Pottery Barn, etc.).
It's also why I love old estate jewelry. There's a history there, and although I may not know it, I can appreciate that there was a story regardless. Something about its untold diary gives an impression of excitement and wonderment as we try to imagine what that story is/was, maybe it was out of sadness or grief, or even desperation for money—God knows we've been there a number of times. Either way, it's a story I can create in my head; something that gives me inner peace.
Finding exceptional one-of-a-kind objects is something I've always treasured and enjoyed. Even altering its appearance with something as simple as spray paint can give it exclusivity.
These are one of the many things that have always helped me through my disease, bipolar disorder. I realize it can't cure it, but at least try and keep my mind occupied from my racing thoughts or decrease them a great deal. That is something I am satisfied with—even if it's only temporary at that time.
Bipolar Gal on Twitter
Friday, June 8, 2012
A Dream.
We all have a dream. Something we all yearn to be, to do, in our lives. Sometimes we don't all get the opportunity to live out our aspirations, but it's fun to get away, if only in our minds, as we gaze into our fantasy.
For me, a dream that I've fantasized about for the past 3 years is opening up an art school—an art school for kids. I never thought in a milion years that I would ever want to teach art, especially to children, but after having my daughter, and exposing her to art, colors, painting, et al, since she was 18 months old, I realized that it's something I loved; something I truly enjoyed. And you know what, I was damn good at it, too.
It was at this age that I taught my daughter colors. At this time, she knew her colors and by the time she entered daycare at the age of 2, the instructors were highly impressed by this. I have paintings that she created at 19 months old that are framed and hanging in her room. I love these paintings because nothing gives the impression of brightness through art more than a child's painting. The vibrance and stimulating assemblage of colors pleases me. Seeing all the bright colors gives the viewer such joy, that we don't even realize we're experiencing it.
But I do. I always appreciate and love all the different colors. Bright beautiful rich colors.
I always knew that this would be my goal, but how do I attempt it? How do I start? I have no money and no bank in their right mind would ever grant me a business loan. So how? As my unemployment is nearing its end, I am scared. So scared that as I look at the jobs listed, I get even more depressed. There is nothing in my field, and nothing that even looks like I could qualify for. It's scary out there, and I won't know what to do. The time is soon approaching.
Do I even attempt to research how to obtain this and follow through with my dream, or do I just leave it at that—nothing but a fantasy in my mind and my heart? This is what I need to ask myself, because as I sit here and ponder how I would come up with the money to fulfill this objective, it will just have to remain nothing but a daydream for now. Who knows what will happen, life is funny that way. I may have the means to follow through with this goal, but for now, I don't.
What do I do in the meantime? My heart is yearning to fulfill something meaningful in my life. I want to be able to walk away from all of this, create a therapeutic retreat, if only in my head, and grow; move forward and excel in my life. Haven't I been through enough?
We all work very hard, and in this horrible economy, sometimes people struggle to the point of losing everything. Although that is not happening to us, I look at my husband everyday as he comes home from one of his two jobs exhausted, literally exhausted. My husband works 80 hours/week, and for what? Little to no money only so we can have our bills paid, our rent paid, and food on the table—which doesn't always happen, unfortunately. Barely enough to survive as we live paycheck to paycheck every week. We are not poor, but we are not rich either. Is there such a thing as middle class these days? I don't know.
But I do know this, I will try my hardest to live out my dream, even if it takes me years to attain.
I have to.
For me, a dream that I've fantasized about for the past 3 years is opening up an art school—an art school for kids. I never thought in a milion years that I would ever want to teach art, especially to children, but after having my daughter, and exposing her to art, colors, painting, et al, since she was 18 months old, I realized that it's something I loved; something I truly enjoyed. And you know what, I was damn good at it, too.
It was at this age that I taught my daughter colors. At this time, she knew her colors and by the time she entered daycare at the age of 2, the instructors were highly impressed by this. I have paintings that she created at 19 months old that are framed and hanging in her room. I love these paintings because nothing gives the impression of brightness through art more than a child's painting. The vibrance and stimulating assemblage of colors pleases me. Seeing all the bright colors gives the viewer such joy, that we don't even realize we're experiencing it.
But I do. I always appreciate and love all the different colors. Bright beautiful rich colors.
I always knew that this would be my goal, but how do I attempt it? How do I start? I have no money and no bank in their right mind would ever grant me a business loan. So how? As my unemployment is nearing its end, I am scared. So scared that as I look at the jobs listed, I get even more depressed. There is nothing in my field, and nothing that even looks like I could qualify for. It's scary out there, and I won't know what to do. The time is soon approaching.
Do I even attempt to research how to obtain this and follow through with my dream, or do I just leave it at that—nothing but a fantasy in my mind and my heart? This is what I need to ask myself, because as I sit here and ponder how I would come up with the money to fulfill this objective, it will just have to remain nothing but a daydream for now. Who knows what will happen, life is funny that way. I may have the means to follow through with this goal, but for now, I don't.
What do I do in the meantime? My heart is yearning to fulfill something meaningful in my life. I want to be able to walk away from all of this, create a therapeutic retreat, if only in my head, and grow; move forward and excel in my life. Haven't I been through enough?
We all work very hard, and in this horrible economy, sometimes people struggle to the point of losing everything. Although that is not happening to us, I look at my husband everyday as he comes home from one of his two jobs exhausted, literally exhausted. My husband works 80 hours/week, and for what? Little to no money only so we can have our bills paid, our rent paid, and food on the table—which doesn't always happen, unfortunately. Barely enough to survive as we live paycheck to paycheck every week. We are not poor, but we are not rich either. Is there such a thing as middle class these days? I don't know.
But I do know this, I will try my hardest to live out my dream, even if it takes me years to attain.
I have to.
Abstract Finger Painting – Artist, my daughter – 2001
Copy of Keith Haring – Artist, my daughter – 2006
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