After much contemplation on my job search, my husband suggested that instead of a relentless search into a career in graphic design, I should try to find a job in retail instead—something he claimed I had always been satisfied with. With the upcoming holiday season, I knew it would be easier than usual since most stores were hiring for the busy holiday season.
As I continually perused craigslist, I was apprehensive of applying for anything outside of my career, if not an office job. Something outside of my comfort zone. A job that has proven to be stifling and lonely. At least with my last job this has confirmed to be true. Do I dare? Or just sit there doubting my husband's recommendation?
I'll give it a try. Why not? I have nothing to lose.
With the holidays rapidly approaching, I knew undertaking this challenge could possibly benefit me, albeit temporarily. The advantages of working in retail during the holidays, is that it gives me the opportunity of eventually not going back. During a temporary position as 'holiday help,' I wanted to ensure that money wouldn't be an issue since working in retail can become problematic, not only with the unusual hours, but the hourly wage as well. I wasn't interested in a commission based salary, but knew that most retail jobs would require a certain amount of sales in order to remain motivated and fulfilled, as well as a requirement with the company.
Even though I've always preferred a more simplified retail position, I often wonder if selling was something I'd be good at. A successful attempt at working with the public in hopes of ringing up that next purchase to promote happiness with each individual customer. Shopping is always a happy endeavor, so as a salesperson, it's my job to establish their exuberant visit. Therefore, walking out of the boutique with a smile on their face.
Immediately after my search, I received a phone call for an instantaneous interview. A part of me was elated, but the other part of me was disappointed at the same time. I had hoped that upon my continuous search that finding a job in retail would not come to fruition, but only an excuse from telling my husband that it didn't work out; that nobody was interested. But I knew that it was an undertaking that I must take; a risk in my mind that needed to materialize. While in college and as a young teenager, I've worked many years in retail, with only the last 10+ years of graphic design permeating throughout my resumé, therefore possibly causing an apprehensive conflict from my being hired. As a result of my recent experience, I wasn't sure if I would receive this quick of a phone call. I didn't know what to expect.
The woman on the other end was giving me a chance regardless. She wanted to hear my experience and know that I was fully qualified to grace the marble floors of their upscale boutique as a potential salesperson.
Even I wasn't certain, because I wanted to know and also hear what she had to say. I also gave her the chance to sell the position that could be offered to me.
After a successful interview, I was offered the job the very next day. I was happy, but at the same time, I was disappointed. Upon hearing the hourly wage (plus commission), I was disillusioned—albeit expectedly—of the low wage. I had worked retail long enough to know that standing on my feet would be a challenge if not a painful one—even if I am a regular runner.
After starting my first day, my back was bothering me to the point where I'd have to regularly sit down, only to be told that I am allotted a 10 minute break for a 4 hour shift. I knew this would be problematic, but how could a 10 minute break benefit me? By the time I sit down, my break is basically over. A snack? Perhaps. Lunch or dinner? Not enough time.
Although at the moment, I am only working 4 hour shifts in hopes of being triumphant on my way home from a beneficial outcome of—what feels like—a long day. However, what I did feel was excruciating pain instead. My back bothered me, to the point that I could barely sit down. How can this be? How can a regular runner like myself be in such pain from standing on my feet for a mere 4 hours? I sometimes wonder if it's my age causing this, but I don't know for sure. Many years ago while I was pregnant, my back hurt so bad that I had to take an early leave of absence and as a result, receive short term disability. Prior to becoming pregnant, I ran 5–7 miles a day, 5 days/week. After having my daughter, my back never went back to normal pre-pregnancy.
Until 2 years ago prior to my running 3 days/week. It felt good to never feel that lower back pain again. Although I was concerned as I started running again, I felt elated and continued to remain painless. Even if I felt a constant nervousness.
Until now. Until I started this job. I don't love this job, but I don't hate it either. For now, it's just a job I am doing. It feels good to get out of the house and in a social, public environment. Something I have needed for a very long time. I now know that only working minimal hours per week that the possibility of getting burned out, could only overcome me, but feeling good instead. Aside from my back pain—which I hope is just a discomfort I must get used to—the probability of going to work a few days a week will heighten my entertainment surroundings with the struggle of incessant back pain.
Have I gotten too old for such an environment? Or am I just not used to it?
Long days, or old age?
Only time will tell.
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