Family.

This is a tough word for me to say. I love family, I do. Family means the world to me but these past several years have proved to me that family can drift apart. This is unfortunately a common problem among families these days. We grow up, we get married, we have children of our own, and then before you know it, life passes us by. Before you notice, we gravitate in our own direction and focus on our own lives thus ignoring what we had while growing up—an appreciation of sorts.


Separately.


When I was growing up, family was an integral part of my life. We had a small family, so that made us even closer. We were all living back east and all within an hour's drive from each other. Our parents were all very close and got together on a regular/weekly basis. My brother and I were at least 2-3 years apart in age with our cousins and repeated visits were common. It was the ideal situation as we were growing up.


Then when I was 9 years old, we moved out west because my father had a better career opportunity, but unfortunately this changed everything amongst our family. Although we were all still close as we all tried to stay in touch and enjoyed continual visits throughout the year, they weren't as periodic as they once were. As we got older, those visits dwindled significantly. 


I always missed that connection we had with my cousins, aunt and uncles, and spending quality time with them during the holidays and even just to visit for no reason, was something we all enjoyed to do. We took pleasure in those relationships. Back then, and it was fun and we were all very close.


Now those ties have changed. As I've gotten older, got married and had a child, I realize how important those family get togethers were. My daughter is the youngest of my husband's family and the youngest before her is 12 years older and my cousin has twin boys a year and a half older than her. She never had that closeness that I had with my cousins, and it's weird, very weird. My relatives still live back east, whereas I still live out west. My daughter hasn't even met my cousins' children, who are all close to her age, which has grown to become a disappointment in my life. My husband's family all live within an hour or so distance away, but still, we never see them, nor do we spend the holidays with them.


That saddens me. At least I would love to have the option to give my daughter that feeling of those glory days with my family that I was so lucky to have. But money is tight, and money is what will enable this "dream" to happen.


Sometimes I wonder if family could have helped me through my bipolar disorder; kept me busy. I honestly don't know, but I honestly doubt it. I just miss family all together and hope that someday we can all get together again and have our children meet.


Maybe someday soon.


Now that would make me happy.


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