Sex, Bipolar & Videotape

OK, maybe not videotape, but it's a certainly a catchy title, right? A little homage to the 80's movie, Sex, Lies & Videotape, so why not? I bet it caught your attention either way.


If so, then my ploy worked.


I talk about sex and bipolar simply because I have found in the last several months, my libido has diminished a great deal. Now, this is not typical of my behavior so I attribute it to my new medication. I have talked about this before with my "drug dealer" to no avail. He even tried decreasing my medication dosage but then we found it wasn't working for my mood stabilizing. Which is better to give up, my sex life (or lack thereof) or my moods and depression? Well, clearly I chose the former but I still miss the sex life nevertheless.


Am I the only one who experiences these changes with bipolar disorder medication, or should I just chalk it up to my aging and menopause? Aside from the guinea pig disorder that I have been associating with lately, I don't know which to blame it on.


At this point, does it matter? Probably not. Either way, the outcome is the same.


For me, it's easier to blame it on my meds, because let's face it, do I really want to condemn my increasing of age? Probably not. But it sounds damn good, doesn't it?


Perhaps this is an inappropriate personal 'problem' to discuss out here in the blogosphere, but since it's an anonymous blog, I think I'm safe here. Where else can I be honest and upfront about a situation such as my lack of sexual desire?


As if my life hasn't been altered enough as it is, now I have to worry about a decreased sex drive? How can life be so cruel? I love my husband very much, and I am still very much attracted to him, so I know for certain that making love to him is something I still enjoy doing—on a regular basis—but lately, that hasn't been the case. Perhaps I should just make a "date" with my husband and see where it goes? Spice things up, if you will.


I won't go into detail about how long it's been, but trust me when I say, it's been a while. Damn you bipolar medication! How could you do this to me!!!


I think as I try and succumb to the quintessential aphrodisiac—oysters, anyone?—perhaps that'll get me back into the groove of things and renew my aging as something exciting—not scary—and maybe even an attempt to play the cameo of promiscuous behavior? Obviously, I don't intend on cheating on my husband, but I have recommended a little role playing here and there, just for fun. Not sure that's his thing, but I think at this point, he'll try anything.


I'm game for whatever, so for now, I will just lay low and see where it takes me.


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